0bliterated's Journal

2:26PM

I am now soulspit. Friends only, but I'll add you.

9:30AM

Some pictures

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11:04AM

I'm very inspired these days. I've been doing lots of artsy things. I learned how to knit Thursday, but I don't know how to make anything in particular, so I'm just knitting a big white panel.

I've gone back to vegetarianism. For over a year and a half, I was a vegetarian for no reason, but now I have reasons. I'm leaning towards vegan. But I can't be a strict vegan. There won't be any food for me to eat.

I took the ACT for the first time last month. Scores came back two days ago. I got a 28. I wish I had taken it sooner, but I still have time to bring it up. When I took it, I was kinda in shock at how little time there was, but next time I'll know & I can bump up my pace. I'm taking two classes at Motlow this summer. An English class that will suffice for my senior English credit at high school, and also a music appreciation class. Next year at high school I'm taking AP Calculus AB, two semesters of Band, French III (H) and French IV (H), Econ/gov (H), and anatomy (H). I'm already excited about it.

7:24PM - death and dilemma

I was taking a walk with my mom, grammy, & brother. Jere & I were tossing a ball with these cheap lacrosse sticks. Then I heard a hissing sound comming from near a tree by the side of the road. It was a baby opossum. I picked him up & he clung to me. I immediately saw that he was missing an eye & assumed this is why his mother abandoned him. I just didn't see the maggots. I named him Edward & decided I would raise him. Jere petted him & we were pleased. Then I noticed where an eyeball used to be was writhing & pulsing with god knows how many tiny worms. And they were trying to get into his body through his stomach, too. He was being eaten alive. He was barely alive. As he clung to me, I thought to myself, everything needs a little love before death & I petted him & cooed & coddled. We were near the park, & I decided I would put him in the pond. It would be a quick & painless death. Jere & I sobbed a little on the way to the pond, & I placed him in the water. Jere was crying loudly, moaning, on his knees in the grass, and the opossum started to swim, so I snatched him out. He was fighting, I couldn't do it. I couldn't push him under. I put him on the grass & he was hissing again. He started nibbling on some grass, & I thought to myself that maybe he could survive. Maybe I could put a little lamp oil on him & kill the worms, but his head was full of them. When I put him in the water, the worms went deeper, the area around the hole turned red & bulged out. He was barely alive. He didn't have a mother, he would die anyway. I couldn't leave him there. I did want him to be eaten to death. And I couldn't drown him. So I put him in the lacrosse nets & walked back to the house. I would ask popa to shoot him. Popa shoots lots of critters all the time. It would be quick. It would be over soon. It was a long walk to my house. Popa shot Edward. I didn't look. It took a few minutes for his tail to quit moving. Finally it curled all the way up, & I covered him with leaves & dirt.

And I am sorry. I am sorry I couldn't raise him. I'm sorry I couldn't save him. I'm sorry the whole thing happened. And this is not me lamenting over the death of an animal. I understand nature. This happens. And maybe I should have just let him die there by the road. But I couldn't do it. There would be no resolution, I would have kept thinking about it. He's dead now, & it's over.

4:03PM

This could possibly be be my last entry. No promises. If anyone wants to be *friends*, email me: cantankerousss@yahoo.com

Final thoughts:

I still believe internet abstinence is one of the best things you can do for yourself. I don't even miss it.

I still believe in logic.

I still believe in experiencing everything you can.

Do your homework.

But don't give up a chance to do something awesome because you have homework to do.

Don't ever assume the stuff in your room is safe from prying eyes.

If you are under eighteen, you won't be for very long. (my mantra)

This isn't actually the direction I was wanting the message to take, but ah well.

To Grundy people especially, I wish the best for you.

But it's time for peace.




Take care.

9:45PM

If any of you decided not to join my community because when you looked at the profile it had some retarded girl's info on it, I fixed that.

So try again & join. It's going to be great.


http://www.livejournal.com/community/bathroom__stall

2:18PM

bathroom__stall's User Info

12:14AM

I just made a community called bathroom__stall

It's for sharing messages on bathroom walls, by picture or typing. Or you can post pictures already on the internet.

It's brand spankin' new. Help me get it going.

8:15PM

Hey Danielle-

A few weeks ago you finally let me know that you have washed your hands of me. And I, you. So it wouldn't really make sense for you to add my new livejournal, would it?

1:10PM - ha ha ha like you didn't see this coming

6:20PM